<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>pick your flowers, lover boy by sakutsu</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28466520">pick your flowers, lover boy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakutsu/pseuds/sakutsu'>sakutsu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Flower Talk, Flower meanings, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New Year's Eve, Queerplatonic Relationships, Unrequited Love, skts in a qpr and bonding over their suffering</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:34:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28466520</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakutsu/pseuds/sakutsu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He looked down at the Azalea flower in his hand and sniffed as a mug of tea was placed on the coffee table in front of him. When he heard the other’s shuffling settle, the blonde looked up at the armchair across from him and smiled wryly.</p><p>“Happy New Year, Omi.”</p><p>The raven looked up from the book he had just opened and nodded before returning his attention back to the pages, “Happy New Year, Atsumu.”</p><p>or</p><p>skts bond through their unrequited love</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Atsumu &amp; Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!! Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>pick your flowers, lover boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Atsumu sat on the couch surrounded by bloodied tissues. The stench of the room was sour, a mix of bile and metallic smells merging together. He felt disgusting as the Christmas tree they had yet to take down glowed on him, revealing his blood and snot crusted hands. He pulled the throw blanket up closer to his face, sinking deeper into the couch and bringing his legs up to sit in a criss-crossed form. He laughed at the pathetic scene that surrounded him, causing him to break into a coughing fit. His coughs were wet and came from so deep that tears pricked at his eyes in pain as the enabler fell out of his throat. He looked down at the Azalea flower in his hand and sniffed as a mug of tea was placed onto the coffee table in front of him. When he heard the other’s shuffling settle, the blonde looked up at the armchair across from him and smiled wryly.</p><p>“Happy New Year, Omi.”</p><p>The raven looked up from the book he had just opened and gave him a small nod before returning his attention back to the pages, “Happy New Year, Atsumu.”</p><p>Atsumu grabbed the now-warm mug and wrapped his hands around it while pulling out his phone to scroll through the new year’s wishes and similar on his timeline, while Sakusa reached a hand out to pull a tissue from the box sitting between his left side and the chair arm. Mindlessly bringing it to his mouth, he coughed a Gladiolus petal into it before crumpling it up and throwing it across the room. </p><p>The blonde chuckled and looked up from his phone at the spiker. Atsumu was one to verbally complain, Sakusa having to deal with his whining more often than not, but Sakusa throws more physical fits, silent and momentarily intense but entertaining to see. He watched as the spiker glared at the spot where the now red-spotted tissue landed before huffing and looking away. </p><p>“Ya good over there?” Atsumu’s tone was light but they both could feel the underlying concern when he spoke. </p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>“Wow," he drawled sarcastically, "what a <i>great</i> way to start off the new year Omi-kun. Snappy and blunt as ever.” The blonde teased with a smirk as the raven rolled his eyes.</p><p>They returned to their familiar silence, lost in the sounds of each other's raspy breaths and momentary coughs. The living room, dimly lit by surrounding lamps, would be a horrifying scene to someone who didn’t know of their conditions, but they were too tired to bother picking anything up as no one was coming over anyways. Atsumu paused his scrolling and looked up to Sakusa, who noticed this and lifted his head up questioning look sporting his face. </p><p>“What d’ya think of yellow lilies?” His voice had a hint of sorrow in it but neither of them bothered to acknowledge it.</p><p>“What, for your funeral? It would clash too much with your hair.”</p><p>Atsumu gave a hum and looked back to the glow of the phone screen, “Gardenias?”</p><p>Sakusa looked the boy over, “They're pretty. Their meaning would suit you too, I suppose.” 

The blonde looked up and gave a genuine smile, “Thank you.” The other curled his lips slightly, as bittersweet as it was he was glad they were going through this together. In the midst of their quiet appreciation of each other, Atsumu spoke again.</p><p>“Say, do you know what you're picking?” </p><p>He did, but he couldn’t help but huff out an empty laugh at their conversation. It was so morbid, planning out your death with your ‘boyfriend’. Yet they both felt a sense of peace, maybe acceptance, in this. </p><p>Neither of them had anticipated the outcome, both of them had begun dating in an attempt to clear their minds from their unrequited love while unaware of the others intentions. So when Sakusa found Atsumu coughing out Azalea’s for Kita Shinsuke, Atsumu was scared of the others reaction. Sakusa had only smiled and walked out of the door before returning with a handful of his own Gladiolus petals, for Ushijima Wakatoshi, and after Atsumu processed what this meant, they both laughed. The rest of that day, they sat in Atsumu’s bed with a silent understanding of what this meant, and an unspoken agreement to stay together through this. </p><p>Not with romantic intentions, they knew that wasn’t possible for them, but as something deeper than that. The only ones who knew about their conditions were Osamu and Komori, though Atsumu was pretty sure Suna knew as well, and they continued their relationship as normal. When Atsumu would hold Sakusa during a team dinner, most assume it’s behind romantic intent, but in reality it’s a supportive grounding as the raven silently coughs into Atsumu’s shoulder. The same goes for other acts of intimacy, whether it was reassurance or comfort, their connection had grown deeper with their shared secret, and that brought them to this moment. </p><p>“I considered Marigolds for a while,” Atsumu snorted at that before allowing Sakusa to continue, “though I found Asphodel’s to be a good fit.”</p><p>“Asphodel’s make sense, they’re perfect fer ya.”</p><p>It was Sakusa's turn to smile now, wry but appreciative, “Thanks.”</p><p>The blonde returned the gesture before sipping the last of the tea Sakusa had made for him and leaning over to set the mug onto the table. He slipped the phone beside it and returned back to the couch, slowly curling onto his side and closing his eyes in both fatigue and content. “G’night Omi.”</p><p>Sakusa looked up at the scene, it was a subtle breath of purity in the midst of grief and he didn’t have the heart to yell at Atsumu for falling asleep on the couch. Instead, he placed his book aside and got up to drape another blanket over the sleeping man’s body. Crouching beside him, he ran a hand through the blonde’s hair in a sign of fondness before pulling away and whispering “Goodnight ‘Atsu,” and getting up to turn off the lights. </p><p>They don’t know exactly how long they have left, only having been told of a range of ‘between a few months to half a year,’ yet the New Year started nonetheless and time continued to pass.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh wow I did /not/ plan to write this, I have been trying to write for the past two weeks to write something and have been struggling and then this just came to me and I wrote it in three hours lmfao</p><p>The title!!! Big thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/nen1tsu2">Win</a>, for being big brained and coming up with such a great title ily</p><p>Ty to <a href="https://twitter.com/KE1KUNS">Beli</a> for beta reading it for me &lt;3</p><p>All of the flowers have meanings so heres a list of what they mean if you don't want to look it up:</p><p>Azalea - "Take care", temperance, fragile, gratitude, passion</p><p>Gladiolus - Strength of character, honor, conviction</p><p>Yellow lilies - Thankfulness and desire for enjoyment</p><p>Gardenias - Secret love, joy, sweet love, good luck</p><p>Marigolds - Pain and grief</p><p>Asphodel (my absolute favorite especially for this fic) - "My regrets follow you to the grave" or "remembered beyond the tomb"</p><p>I was listening to "Prayer X" and "As The World Caves In" on loop while writing this</p><p> </p><p>My Twitter is <a href="https://twitter.com/kozumeaex">@kozumeaex</a> if you want to talk or anything &lt;3</p><p>Until next time ~</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>